Below is the actual text of an email I sent to a friend of mine:
"So I am now thinking your lack of reply indicates that your meeting today went well and you're just afraid to tell me because that means you'll likely be leaving and you don't know how to break the news to your moderately crazy friend that the one person who consistently tolerates her craziness is leaving.
Oh, I mean... Yay! Yay for you! (Fuck for me.)
Or, perhaps your silence is due to your displeasure at the results of your meeting and you're just too depressed/angry/drunk to want to talk about it.
No, I seriously mean *fuck*.... not even yay for me.... because really? When you're unhappy? No one wins.
I mean, it's clearly not as bad as if I am unhappy. Because when I am unhappy, everyone loses.
**I realize, on the surface, this may look to be the same, but it's not. When you're unhappy and no one wins, there's still the chance of everyone receiving a conciliatory "participant" ribbon. When I'm unhappy and everyone loses, there's a fair chance people are going to be kicked in the crotch. Literally and/or figuratively.**
(You know I'm right.)
And now my head hurts because I don't know which situation is the better outcome and all can think about is kicking people in the crotch.
Another typical Friday night."
Is it any surprise that people don't reply to my emails? I should not be allowed to maintain friendships.
P.S. I figure it's okay to post the email on here, sans names anyway, mostly because not only does he not reply to my emails, but he sure as hell doesn't read my blog.
P.P.S? Just in case he does - at some future point - read this, I do genuinely hope things went well.
A little bit anyway.
All right, not really.
(Sorry. I'm selfish.)