Thursday, July 8, 2010

MS is fucked up, you guys. Seriously.

(I am exhausting.)






Okay, so after bursting into tears not once but twice today (at work) over absolutely nothing, (which came shortly after comparing our office to a group of Power Rangers) I felt the need to apologize to our director:

Email: Sorry I am all basketcase-y today. I swear, my mood is swinging so wildly I should be medicated... oh, wait, I am... hmmm...

Know what’s helping though?

Candy.

Yep, someday I will be emotionally stable, but I will weigh 600 lbs.

Yep, that's just the type of thing I should be sending over the work email servers. I figure when they collect enough evidence to fire me, I will sue for predjudice against crazy people and/or grossly obese people. You know, depending on how long this carries on for.

So then, I got home and the fun times just kept rolling.

First, I'm reading this story and thinking, "what. the. fuck. I never find treasures buried anywhere!" Of course, it then occured to me that not only do I not walk around with a metal detector, but I don't even own a metal detector. So I can't really bitch.

However, kudos to the guy who did. Now, not only can legitimately defend himself to his wife, who constantly bitches about his "hobby" to anyone who will listen, (yeah, I know, total leap of faith there that he's even married... but you know if he is, she's bitching... trust me.) but he also turned over his find to archeologists to allow the coins to be excavated in proper fashion.

My ass would have been digging that whole damn thing up and carrying the coins back in every available pocket.

Maybe that's why I don't find stuff. My karma is definitely not worthy of 350 pounds of ancient gold coins. I mean, I rarely even come across change on the sidewalks. And that should tell you something.

(I did step in some gum the other day though. True story.)

Next, I'm reading through some blogs that I follow, and I come to this one.... which is freaking hysterical.... perhaps a little more hysterical because of my retarded dog, but still, funny nonetheless. However, I doubt it is as funny as I was finding it to be.

I could not. stop. laughing.

Next thing I know, I am laughing so hard that I burst into tears.

Tears!

Not like, "whew! that was funny!" tears running from your eyes, but like actual crying!

(I can't even go back and read it again.... because it will happen all over again....)

((but seriously..... so funny..... go read it.... but only after you're done reading this.... because it's so funny you won't want to come back here anymore.))



I had to look at my husband and explain that that is simply what today has been like. A roller coaster that no one in their right mind would ever choose to get on.

(Good thing I'm clearly not in my right mind.)

"Wheeeeeeeeee!!!!!"