Tuesday, September 29, 2009

I am sick!

So the doctor's office called back this afternoon. He's going to need to see me before he can consider adjusting my meds.


The earliest they can schedule me is in two weeks.

Um, seriously?

Two weeks?? You might as well tell me two months. Or two years.

Two weeks is too long.

Do you have any idea how much damage I can do in two weeks? Damage to my reputation at work? Damage to my relationships? Damage to my own well being?

Answer: Way. Too. Much.

(as an aside to anyone who may be worrying too much right now - I don't mean any actual physical damage to myself... well, short of what damage I might do to my liver by drinking too heavily and the pounds I would gain from eating too much.... but I don't mean any actual physical harm. If I did, I would be checking myself in somewhere, not calling my PCP. I know enough to know that. But don't think I haven't thought of it... checking myself in that is, not harming myself. The idea of a padded room seems great some days.)

((I'm only half kidding.))

(((about the padded room, that is.)))

So no, two weeks will not work. Try again.

One week.


Again, seriously? Do you think I can't do ample damage in one week? Don't try me, cause I know I can.

With a sigh, the receptionist says to me, "well, I shouldn't do this, but, I can put it in as a sick visit and he will see you this friday morning."

It's all I can do to not scream at her: "I am sick! I can't stop crying. I can't sleep. I can't think straight. I can't function at work. I can hardly get out of bed! I ache all over. I HAVE FREAKING MS! And right now? Right now MS is making me it's bitch. It's toying with my brain in a way I am NOT equipped to deal with. So if it makes you feel any better? I will fake a cough and lie about having a fever, but for the love of god, I am sick! What more do I need to say?!?!?"

But instead, I say, "Thank you, I appreciate you doing that."

So now instead of two weeks, it will be two days.

Two. Long. Days.

Someone wake me when this is over, okay?


  1. Jamie- I feel for you, it makes me sad that you are feeling this bad...I'll send you all the positive thoughts I have, but I know personally on really bad days it's just not enough...*hugs* (and wine!)

  2. I know how you feel. Apparently my body masks sleep apena well. It masks it as RLS. So they put me on Requip, which is a muscle relaxant. Which for those non-medical types out there means it depress the central nervous system. Like central as in breathing and heart function, not just the whole stop kicking your wife in your sleep deal. I went through 6 weeks of not sleeping, waking up every hour, and barely functioning if not out right falling asleep at work, as well as sleeping in the car in the morning on the way in (Kaylea was driving) and on the way home. I tried to get in sooner and got the "Well you have an appointment in 5 weeks and he really needs to you wait 5 weeks before you come in..." Mean while I am like lady if we wait 5 week there may not be a person to make an appoinment with because I will be unemployeed and won't have any insurance for you to bill. And I suffered, and didn't drive anywhere, didn't do anything and basicly hated it. Finally I get in he schedules me for another sleep study, then askes my why I waited so long! Dear God it took everything in me not to kill them all, if wasn't so tired....