Some days I wish for apathy. Let’s be honest, serenity is a lot harder to come by - I would be content with the peace of apathy.
How does one define apathy? A quick google definition search turned up numerous results.
(god bless those people at google.)
The one I liked the best was this: Void of feeling; not susceptible of deep emotion; passionless; indifferent.
One I liked, but didn’t like, was this: Complete lack of emotion or motivation about a person, activity, or object; depression; lack of interest or enthusiasm; disinterest.
One I took offense to: A symptom of several mental illnesses, apathy is a lack of emotion or interest in things one would ordinarily consider important.
(mental illness you say? screw you google-search-people.)
One that made me smile: Who gives a shit?
I would argue that being apathetic and being depressed are two different things. I am depressed. It generally makes me sad, sometimes angry, and prone to inopportune fits of crying. None of those states is a lack of emotion, by far. I want to be apathetic. What I am after is a little less emotion. Like, a few moments of none at all would be fine to offset the months of over-the-top emotions I have been feeling.
It would be bliss at this point.
None of my over-the-top emotions ever swing to the end of the spectrum where rainbows and butterflies reside.
In separate, but clearly related news, I have a call in to my doctor to reevaluate my current medications.
I hope he calls soon.