I blame Buffy Summers.

During my New Year’s weekend marathon viewing of Buffy the Vampire Slayer episodes (as if I had anything better to be doing for three days straight), I came to the startling realization that Buffy is not only to blame for my distinct need to kick ass all hot-ninja-slayer-style but, apparently, I’m pretty sure I can now blame her for my career choice.

Did anyone else completely blank on the fact that in the season seven Buffy was hired as a high school guidance counselor??

(for real, people.)

((and yes, I am speaking as if you’ve all seen every episode of every season as I have. Because if you haven’t? you have better things to be doing than reading this blog.))

Now, I can put aside the fact that in the world of slayers, hell-mouths, demons, and hot sexy vampires, you apparently don’t even need a college education to be a counselor. Let’s also put aside the fact that Buffy does so little as a counselor that she, at one point, is sitting at her desk trying to balance a mug full of pencils on her head for fun. (really Joss Whedon? Really??? for shame.)

But, in one particular episode, a love-spell cursed varsity letter jacket makes Buffy (as well as her sister and other girls) fall in love with the high school quarterback. (because this *totally* happens all the time) Clearly, awesomeness ensues. Including, but not limited to, Buffy getting down with said hottie in the letter jacket in her office and an empty classroom. (and that *totally* happens all the time too)

Wait.

No, it doesn’t. Ever.

Never, in fact.



What. the. fuck.

I’m all over here dealing with the kids and their parents and the teachers and the drama and never once did I find myself atop a hot (obviously over 18 cause otherwise that would be creepy) young stud on an empty lab desk.

Again I say….

What. the. fuck??!?!!

I was clearly sold a bogus bill of sale. Being a guidance counselor isn’t a damn thing like Buffy made it out to be.

(to be fair, I don't make it look as good as she did.)

((and I'm still not a hot pole-dancing ninja either.))

I am so disillusioned.