Monday, July 27, 2009


Because sometimes we can't say what we need to... and sometimes even when we can, the right person doesn't hear it.

by Alanis Morrisette

Dear Matthew,
I like you a lot.

I realize you're in a relationship with someone right now,
and I respect that.

I would like you to know that if you're ever single in the future,
and want to come visit me in California,
I would be open to spending time with you

and finding out how old you were when you wrote your first song.

Dear Jonathan,
I liked you too much.

I used to be attracted to boys who would lie to me
and think solely about themselves.

And you were plenty self-destructive for my taste at the time -
I used to say the more tragic the better.
The truth is, whenever I think of the early 90's, your face comes up with a vengeance
like it was yesterday.

Dear Terrance,
I love you muchly.

You've been nothing but open hearted and emotionally available
and supportive and nurturing and consummately there for me.
I kept drawing you in
and pushing you away...

I remember how beautiful it was to fall asleep on your couch
and cry in front of you for the first time.
You were the best platform from which to jump beyond myself...
What was wrong with me?

Dear Marcus,
You rocked my world.

You had a charismatic way about you with the women
and you got me seriously thinking about spirituality.
And you wouldn't let me get away with kicking my own ass,

but I never really felt relaxed enough to fall around you though.
And that stopped us from going any further than we did...
and it's kinda too bad because we could've had much more fun.

Dear Lou,
We learned so much.

I realize we won't be able to talk for some time
and I understand that as I do you.
The long distance thing was the hardest and we did as well as we could.
We were together during a very tumultuous time in our lives.
I will always have your back
and be curious about you...
about your career, your whereabouts...

To the one I still see in my dreams,

We were so young and I loved you so.
I never took the opportunity to apologize when I could have.
Then the option was taken from me forever.
Until the day we might meet again, I will continue to hope
you somehow know.

To Mr. Right Now (but not Mr. Right),

You saved me.
During a time that was dark, you gave me light,
and a direction to follow when I was lost.
I know there was imbalance - and I never could have loved you as you needed me to.
But thank you for loving me
as much as I would allow you to.

To the friend I will not forget,

There were always too many words misunderstood between us.
“Love” was just one among many.
There was room for that love in my life,
as love takes so many forms...
but the same wasn't true for you.
My life is emptier without you, but I doubt you have noticed my absence in yours.

To the one who got away,

I am glad now, that you did.

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