Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Fire bad. Tree pretty.

I have a friend - who shall remain nameless, for my protection, not his - to whom I am constantly giving shit. For many things, actually, but in this case in particular, because he’s the type who likes to talk about things he wants to do, or plans to do, or thinks would be funny to do - and then never does them. To the point where, I have mercilessly teased him about how, in his world, just thinking about something is the same as doing it. Wanna try a new restaurant for dinner? Poof, in insert-name-here’s world, it’s already done.

How was the steak?

Obviously, the reason I don’t mention he-who-must-not-be-named is simply because should he ever read this (which is highly unlikely anyway, as he’d likely say he would, which means he already has, and thus doesn’t have to actually do it) I don’t want him calling me out on this. Because, simply put? I kinda do the same damn thing.

And I just realized it recently.

And now I must take great lengths to make that NOT the case.

In a former post, I mentioned how there are things that I want to do that I have always put off doing - and now I want to do them. Enough thinking about it. Enough talking about it. Time to just do it.

(ah, Nike would be so proud...)

One thing I have talked about for years, and have never actually done, is to learn some sort of martial art. You know, karate or some such shit like that. And I don’t want to end up the only 30-something in a class of 5 year olds... mostly because, let’s be honest here, who wants to put the smack down on a 5 year old?

(and who would potentially want smacketh laid down upon them by a 5 year old? Um, yeah, not me.)

So I have to give some serious consideration and research to where I want to “train”... just that word sounds funny to me... “train”... yes, some one please make me a killing machine... LOL. But in discussing this with someone (because yes, occasionally I do speak to actual people as opposed to just “talking” to myself in these rambling posts), the question was raised, “what sort of martial art are you considering?”

Um.... what, you mean I need to know what kind I want to learn? Are there like 32 flavors or something? Where's a menu?

I have no idea. Clearly. I just want the ability to kick some ass and inflict serious damage with my bare hands. And I want to look good doing it. And I don’t want to grunt and yell out weird non-words while doing so.

Really? I want to be Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

(the Sarah Michelle Gellar version, not Kristy Swanson, thank you very much.)

Sure, she was constantly being hunted by every badass demon/vampire/creepy-crawlie to ever populate the hellmouth, but damn, she kicked some serious ass. And looked good doing it. And got to fall in love with not one, but two vampires-with-a-soul. What’s not to like?

Okay, I recognize that's all a little ridiculous. I mean, who’s ever going to believe there are two vampires with souls, right? Psh.

But seriously? In my head, I can already throw a roundhouse kick that would send a vampire through a wall. In a pair of fabulous 4-inch heels, no less.

Guess it’s time to stop thinking and start doing, right?


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