So, I went to the gym on Wednesday this week in an effort to work on one of my resolutions. It was either the one about me being fat or needing more exercise, but my being there would potentially serve both I guess, so it was clearly a twofer.
It was a terribly successful endeavor. Got out of work late, so by the time I got there and got changed, I had approximately 25 minutes or so to make the massive bodily-transformation I need. Obviously I went right for the recumbent bike. Because nothing says "bodily-transformation" like a piece of gym equipment that only requires the use of my legs - thus leaving my hands free for my iPhone.
(Priorities people. Get some.)
But before I even made it to the bike of laziness (seriously, the woman next to me was reading a trashy novel and peddling even slower than I was. My guess was her new year's resolution was simply to find some quiet time to read and to get away from her husband and kids, chose the gym. It seems logical to me.) I noticed something else that gave me pause.
What is it with the skinny chicks getting changed in the locker room like they are afraid someone might see their body? Um, hello? skinny chick? Let me tell you something. I am here so I can try to look the way you already look. If I had your body, I would be getting changed at such a leisurely "look at my perky boobs" pace that I wouldn't have had any time for the bike of laziness.
I mean, let me preface this by saying that I am far less self-conscious now than I was when I was younger - which is ironic, because back then I did look good, and had perky boobs, and would have liked to have flaunted it had I realized I had "it", but now? all post-child body that is busted up by MS meds? NOT a pretty sight. Do I care? Nope, stripping right down to get changed. Don't like it? Don't look. We all have the same parts anyway and quite frankly any woman naked is still a thing of beauty compared to a naked man.
(Honestly, admit it ladies: there is nothing inherently attractive about your average naked guy. Weird hair and things all hanging.... ew. A woman's body? Still inherently beautiful in that "every woman is a goddess" kind of way. You know I'm right.)
And there were two things that gave me pause at this juncture. 1. the gym was crazy crowded - it was the first week of the new year, I get it. And 2. most of these newly enthusiastic clients were skinny chicks. What are you doing here skinny chicks? And why, oh why, are you so self-conscious that you feel the need to put your sports bra on over your regular bra before you take off the other bra from underneath all escape artist style?
I don't know whether to go hug these girls and tell them that are beautiful just the way they are or slap them silly for not realizing it. (ah, the ever raging conflict between my inner mom and inner bitch.) But either way? I wish someone would have done that for me when I was their age. Because I missed out on some prime "look at my perky boobs" flaunting time.
I want a do-over.