My iPod knows me better than you do. (or why Steve Jobs is fucking with my head.)

I love my iPod. Recently though, I started to feel a little like my iPod was stalking me. It knew entirely too much about me. It knew my thoughts, my fears, my hopes, my dreams - my deepest secrets.

It blew my mind.

Dude, has anyone else ever noticed the Top 25 Most Played playlist?

I am sure this is old news to basically everyone but me, but this thing reads like a diary! Including the embarrassing stuff you wouldn't want anyone else to know about. So, naturally, I thought I would share a little.

And from now on? Anyone I meet is going to have to pass me their iPod so I can scope out the real deal without all the work of actually stalking them. Because if you’re all “emo goth chick” or “cap-popping gansta” hiding in the body of an unassuming 30-something? I think I have the right to know.

(and if the above two quotated phrases don’t permanently cement me as uncool in your mind, nothing will.)

((and yes, I totally just made up the word “quotated”. Deal.))

1. "Sometime Around Midnight"
The Airborne Toxic Event

Due in part to the fact that I am haunted by memories born of love, I can only hope that someone else is haunted by me. (and, I am drunk a lot.)



"Then you walk, under the streetlights.
And you’re too drunk to notice,
that everyone is staring at you.
You just don’t care what you look like,
the world is falling around you.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You just have to see her.
You know that she’ll break you in two."

2. "Vindicated"
Dashboard Confessional

Yeah, I know, it's the song from Spiderman. But it's such a good song. And I am flawed.... but I am cleaning up so well.



"I am vindicated
I am selfish
I am wrong
I am right
I swear I'm right
I swear I knew it all along
And I am flawed
But I am cleaning up so well
I am seeing in me now the things you swore you saw yourself"

3. "Grapevine Fires"
Death Cab for Cutie

4. “Closer”
Ne-Yo

5. “The Way I Are”
Timbaland

Despite the obvious grammatical errors (or perhaps because of them), I heart this song.



“Can you handle me the way I are?”

6. "Decode"
Paramore

Oh god, it's another song from a movie soundtrack.... this does not speak very well of me, does it? Does it help at all that I’ve never seen the movie?

(Yes, I did read the books.)

Moving right along.....

7. “Starlight”
Muse

8. “That’s Not My Name”
The Ting Tings

9. “I’m Yours”
Jason Mraz

I like to sing this song at the top of my lungs in the car. Why? Why not. It’s great, and happy, and it makes my terrible singing worthwhile.

“Open up your mind and see like me
Open up your plans and damn you're free
Look into your heart and you'll find love love love love...”

10. “Stronger”
Kanye West

At least one of the speakers in my car met it’s match with this song. Meh, it was a factory issue anyway....



“N-n-now th-that that don't kill me
Can only make me stronger
I need you to hurry up now
Cause I can't wait much longer
I know I got to be right now
Cause I can't get much wronger
Man I been waitin' all night now
That's how long I've been on ya”

11. “Somewhere Out There”
Our Lady Peace

12. “Where Are You Going?”
Dave Matthews Band

13. "I'm Not Okay (I Promise)"
My Chemical Romance

This song is great. How can you not love this song? And watch the video. Seriously, even if you don't love the song, you will love the video. If you love neither, stop reading right now. We can never be friends. And I have no interest in seeing your iPod.



"Well if you wanted honesty, that's all you had to say.
I never want to let you down or have you go,
it's better off this way.
For all the dirty looks,
For photographs your boyfriend took,
Remember when you broke your foot from jumping out the second story?

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

What will it take to show you that it's not the life it seems?
(I'm not okay)
I told you time and time again
you sing the words but still don't know what they mean
To be a joking look
Another line without a hook
I held you close as we both shook for the last time
Take a good hard look!

I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
I'm not okay.
You wear me out.

Forget about the dirty looks
The photographs your boyfriend took?
You said you read me like a book, but the pages are all torn and frayed

I'm okay.
I'm okay!
I'm okay, yeah
(I'm okay, yeah)
wish you were really hear listening to me
Because I'm telling you the truth
I realize I'm okay!
(Trust me.)

I'm not okay
I'm not okay
Well, I'm not okay
I'm not o-fucking-kay
I'm not okay I'm not okay
(Okay)"

14. “Love Remains the Same”
Gavin Rossdale

Let’s face it: Gavin Rossdale is dreamy.

“A thousand times I’ve seen you standing
Gravity like a lunar landing
Make me want to run till I find you
I shut the world away from here
Drift to you, you’re all I hear
Everything we know fades to black

Half the time the world is ending
Truth is I am done pretending

I never thought that I had anymore to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same”

15. “Last Goodbye”
Jeff Buckley

So many people have no idea what this song is - and that’s a shame. Listen to it. Know it. Love it.

(it’s for your own good.)



“This is our last goodbye
I hate to feel the love between us die
But it's over
Just hear this and then I’ll go
You gave me more to live for
More than you'll ever know

This is our last embrace
Must I dream and always see your face
Why can't we overcome this wall
Well, maybe it's just because I didn't know you at all

Kiss me, please kiss me
But kiss me out of desire, babe, and not consolation
You know it makes me so angry 'cause I know that in time
I'll only make you cry, this is our last goodbye

Did you say 'no, this can't happen to me,'
And did you rush to the phone to call
Was there a voice unkind in the back of your mind
Saying maybe you didn't know him at all
You didn't know him at all, oh, you didn't know

Well, the bells out in the church tower chime
Burning clues into this heart of mine
Thinking so hard on her soft eyes and the memories
Offer signs that it's over... it's over”

16. “Paralyzer”
Finger Eleven

17. “Hysteria”
Muse

18. “Motorcycle Drive By”
Third Eye Blind

When it comes to songs having attachments to people and memories, this song is so heavy with them it practically collapses under its own weight.

“Summer time and the wind is blowing outside
In lower Chelsea and I don't know
What I'm doing in this city
The sun is always in my eyes
It crashes through the windows
And I'm sleeping on the couch
When I came to visit you
That's when I knew
I could never have you
I knew that before you did
Still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I never been so alone
And I've never been so alive

Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes
And you don't mind, you smile
And say the world doesn't fit with you
I don't believe you, you're so serene
Careening through the universe
Your axis on a tilt, you're guiltless and free
I hope you take a piece of me with you
And there's things I'd like to do
That you don't believe in
I would like to build something
But you never see it happen
And there's this burning
Like there's always been
I've never been so alone
And I've, I've never been so alive

And there's this burning
There is this burning
Where's the soul I want to know
New York City is evil
The surface is everything but I could never do that
Someone would see through that
And this is our last time
We'll be friends again
I'll get over you, you'll wonder who I am
And there's this burning
Just like there's always been
I've never been so alone alone
And I've, and I've never been so alive
So alive

I go home to the coast
It starts to rain
I paddle out on the water
Alone
Taste the salt and taste the pain
I'm not thinking of you again
Summer dies and swells rise
The sun goes down in my eyes
See this rolling wave
Darkly coming to take me
Home
And I've never been so alone
And I've never been so alive”

19. “Shake It”
Metro Station

Guilty pleasure. Pure and simple.

20. “Come On Get Higher”
Matt Nathanson

21. “Take a Picture”
Filter

22. “Innocent”
Our Lady Peace



“I remember feeling low
I remember losing hope
I remember all the feelings and the day they stopped

We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...
We are, we are all innocent
We are all innocent
We are, we are...

One day, you’ll have to let it go
You’ll have to let it go
No...
One day, you’ll stand up on your own
You’ll stand up on your own
Remember losing hope
Remember feeling low
Remember all the feelings and the day they stopped”

23. “Deep Inside of You”
Third Eye Blind

24. “In Your Eyes”
Jeffrey Gaines (live) - covering Peter Gabriel

25. “Hot N Cold”
Katy Perry

TOTAL guilty pleasure. I heart Katy Perry.



“You change your mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know

And you
Over-think
Always speak
Cryptically

I should know
That you're no good for me”