Things I hate right now:
Disappointment. I can't decide if it's because I expect too much or simply because I'm not jaded enough to expect the worst, but I am rather tired of feeling this way. Hope is dangerous like that. It lies.
Money. Because I'm fucking broke. And I've never placed the proper value on it, really. I mean, not the value others would have me place on it. It's just not important to me. Unfortunately, the debt collectors don't feel the same way. Bastards.
Twitches. I'm trying to get myself on a lower daily dose of Xanax, as I may have to ween off it altogether soon. Aside from the increased anxiety - which, for me, has always equated to crying - I'm twitching more again. It's like I have MS with a side of tourettes. HATE.
Things I love right now:
Friends. A friend was here Friday night and we talked until 4am. Alcohol wasn't even involved. We just hadn't seen each other in awhile and apparently there was a lot to cover. I didn't even mind missing the sleep - which is really saying something. I may not see him again for many many months, if at all. That should be a part of the first list.
Other friends. I have two friends who text me on a regular basis and I'm quite sure I have actually just created them both in my head. They are my Tyler Durden. Most people don't even answer the texts I send - let alone text me first - so, again, I may be creating them. But they do humor me so. As I do myself. Which actually doesn't help refute my beliefs here.
Alcohol, wine, chocolate, and anything salty. Because it's that time of the month. And either I embrace being fat or I kill people. I've chosen the former. You're welcome.
I love you.
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