This post is for everyone who thinks my life is all glamour and rainbows. (In other words, there's really no one who should be reading this.)

I stink.

No, seriously. Not in a "wow, I really suck" kinda way. But in a "wow, I am really offending myself with the stench that is sort of surrounding me a in a cloud of funk" kinda way.

I stayed home sick today. Did all the things you do when you're home sick: laid in bed, watched daytime tv, napped, woke up, watched more daytime tv, got out of bed, looked for food, and planted myself on the couch.

I also did none of the things you wouldn't do when you're home sick: like, shower, brush my hair, brush my teeth, get changed. (btw? there are too many conflicting negatives in that opening sentence. I am confused.)

Another bad MS day, you ask?

NO!

Psh.... MS I can handle. MS is my bitch by now. In fact, MS is played out.

You guys? I have a serious fucking phlegm filled head cold. AND I AM ABOUT FED UP WITH IT.

I have been sick for almost two weeks. It started with laryngitis, which really? Not funny when you talk as much as I do. Then there was the cough. Then the phlegm. Oh for the love of all things holy, the phlegm..... And now it just won't go away.

I haven't slept in days because I can't stop coughing. And I can't stop blowing my nose. And I can't breathe. But really? Why stop there?

Now, the issue has become my nose.... it won't. stop. running. And yet? It's constantly clogged. But now it hurts from all the blowing. So I switched to tissues with "lotion". Which means my nose is slightly less angry-red-looking, but feels like it's slimy all the time. (Okay, slimier than the snot dripping orifice it has become.)

And better yet?? I have this let's-not-jump-right-to-calling-it-OCD thing about washing my hands. It's not a germ thing. It's a my-hands-don't-feel-clean-if-they-feel-like-there's-ick-on-them thing. And tissues - with lotion - that are immediately overwhelmed by phlegm at first blow? Leave my hands with that not-so-fresh-feeling. So now I am going through paper towels almost as fast as tissues and my hands are drier than usual.

So yeah, I burned a sick day for this. A phlegm filled day of not-showering, offending myself, nose-blowing, and hand-washing.

My life is truly a cabaret.